Science, in keeping with its tradition of confirming things we already knew, now says that staying friends with your ex is a pretty bad idea. Sure, it’s hard to end a relationship and you always want to keep important people in your life. Is it really so wrong?
Well, according to Nina Atwood, a therapist and the author of Temptations of the Single Girl, it’s not wrong, but it is challenging and can leave you in a tough spot emotionally.
“You may feel that this person knows you better than anyone else. Even if you’re not sexually attracted, you may still want the emotional intimacy that you shared.”
But this can make it harder to get past the relationship and the feelings you once had.
Of course, there’s no one-size-fits-all to human emotions, but according to Lindsay Kriger, a relationship expert, it’s almost impossible to pull off staying friends. Kriger believes it’s best to delete their number, block them on Facebook, and move on.
Strong Women Would Rather Be Alone Than Spend Their Time with A**holes
In a world where marriage continues to be a common expectation for adults (1), strong, independent women might find themselves asking: Is it okay to be single?
The answer, of course, is yes.
Singlehood is on the rise – and has been, for some time. As of 2015, only 50% of all adults in the US were married, as opposed to the 72% in 1960 (3); for every 10 marriages filed, 4 divorces are being signed (1). What’s more, people are staying single longer, with the median age for marriage being 29.5 for men and 27.4 for women (2). Recent studies even show that single people can lead lives that are just as happy and fulfilling as those of married people, if not better (3, 4):
Of course, this is not to say that marriage is not beneficial! After all, marriage can offer immense physical and emotional benefits, especially if the married partners feel satisfied, happy, and stable in their relationship (5). However, married life is not necessarily guaranteed to be more advantageous than single life, as single life can often provide similar benefits (4), as in the case of a supportive, non-romantic roommate.
Below are some reasons why it may be just as beneficial – if not better – to be a strong, single, and independent woman! It’s certainly an infinitely better option than being in a sub-par relationship with someone who brings you down.
Shared with permission from our friends at Higher Perspective.
1. Cdc.gov. (2017). CDC Stats: Marriage and Divorce Statistics. [online] Available at: https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/marriage-divorce.htm [Accessed 27 Nov. 2017].
2. Livingston, G., Caumont, A., Livingston, G. and Caumont, A. (2017). 5 facts on love and marriage in America. [online] Pew Research Center. Available at: http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/02/13/5-facts-about-love-and-marriage/ [Accessed 27 Nov. 2017].
3. YouTube: The Atlantic. (2017). Can Single People Be Happy?. [online] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEELIrm9JKA [Accessed 27 Nov. 2017].4. Bookwala, J. and Fekete, E. (2009). The role of psychological resources in the affective well-being of never-married adults. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(4), pp.411-428.
5. Robards, J., Evandrou, M., Falkingham, J. and Vlachantoni, A. (2012). Marital status, health and mortality. Maturitas, 73(4), pp.295-299.
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