As adults, we’re always told that relationships (which include marriage and all forms of romantic partnerships) need lots of work and effort to last long and stay strong. We’re often taught that it’s never easy and no one should expect a bed of soft roses. A thorn or two must poke through at some point and we have to fight to pull it out.
This teaching is mostly true but somewhat misleading. While no relationship can be one-hundred percent perfect, that particular piece of advice doesn’t tell us that a time will come when it becomes clear that no amount of work will push a union in the right direction. Some relationships are not worth fighting for, from the very beginning.
We ignore the warning signs and dive in head-first. We endure months and years of terrible companionship, abuse, neglect, emotional trauma, and total exhaustion and still, we wear on, fighting for something that’s not worth keeping.
Let’s face it: There’s nothing wrong with being single. Forget about societal standards and expectations, no matter how old you are, if you choose to be single, then stay single and stay happy. No one who is going to toil and suffer with you if you get into an unhappy relationship just to conform to meaningless expectations. That image of a lonely, sad elderly person sitting on the porch every hour of the day with an equally sad cat is a sham. There are a lot of elderly people who are single and are still having the time of their lives.
It’s better to stay single than to walk into something that would sap every ounce of your joy and leave you bitter, damaged and unwilling to love again.
Some people are coerced into relationships by their parents. Others “try to make it work” because they have a history with someone and they are compelled to believe there’s a future together. For whatever reason you’re tempted to nurture an unhappy relationship, it’s not worth it. Stop pushing for something that’s been pulling back from the start.
Keep Reading: How to Deal with Grief: Beautiful Advice from an Old Man
You can’t force someone to love you
It’s like sitting on a time bomb that would explode sooner or later and take bits and pieces of your heart with it.
You are lying to yourself about your feelings every time you suppress them and resolve to stay on and endure the hurt. Deep down, somewhere in the darkest crevices of your heart, a place you’re scared of reaching into, you know this relationship is headed for the rocks but you choose to brave it all the same.
You can’t keep forcing someone to pay attention to you. You alone can’t keep making compromises to make things work. You’ve moved from another state, quit your job, sold your car, had your tats and piercings removed just to suit someone else’s lifestyle, and you no longer hang out with your friends and family. Essentially, you’ve overhauled your life and solely put in all the effort but still, you’re struggling. You’re fighting a wall of air because there’s nothing to fight for anymore.
It’s time to re-evaluate your stand and open your eyes to the truth. You deserve more. You deserve better. If staying single until you find the right person for your soul is what it takes, then do it. Don’t be scared. It’s your life, it’s your choice and it’s totally your call. You are solely responsible for your happiness and if someone is making it too hard on you, you can walk away and never look back.
A relationship is not a guarantee for happiness. There’s so much to do when you’re single. You can travel the world, have all the fun your heart can take, hang out with your friends at odd hours and nobody gives you lip about it, you can do whatever you want with your money and live a free, happy, and unrestrained life.
You can take time to heal yourself. Heal your wounds so you don’t bleed on people who didn’t cut you. Keep an open mind and you will find true love someday. Life has a way of giving us what we need at the right time.
Stay strong and stay happy. You deserve the best.
- Holly Riordan. It’s Better To Be Single Than Fight For The Wrong Relationship. Thought Catalog. https://thoughtcatalog.com/holly-riordan/2020/01/its-better-to-be-single-than-fight-for-the-wrong-relationship/. Retrieved 22-02-2020
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