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Posted on: August 25, 2019 at 6:28 pm

“A mother is she who can take the place of all others, but whose place no one else can take,” – Cardinal Mermillod.

Moms are arguably the most overworked people on earth, especially working moms. With having to shuttle between keeping her home in one piece, staying ahead of her children’s career, being a partner to her spouse, and climbing her career ladders, it’s surprising how technology hasn’t come up with mom clones yet. Stay-at-home moms also experience their fair share of stress and exhaustion, although they’ll usually have more time to catch frequent breathers. It’s not a new thing for busy moms to spend too long in the shower or hide under the covers and cry their hearts out. She loves her kids to bits and would literally split in two for them, but taking care of them is not an easy task.

70 percent of moms with children under 18 are part of the workforce, according to the U.S department of labor [1]. A survey conducted by Welch’s Grape Fruit Juice estimates that the total of a mom’s working hours at home or in her place of work would add up to 98 hours per week, which is the equivalent of working two full-time jobs [2]. The survey involved 2,000 American moms with kids aged between 5 and 12. Results showed that a working mom spends an average of 14 hours a day on her “two full-time jobs.” 

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When it seems like you can’t go on anymore, take a break 

Moms are constantly on their toes, and just like every professional who once in a while loses every drop of driving fuel, she too can have a burnout. Burnout is a brutal phase to go through. You’re physically, emotionally, and psychologically exhausted. And if you’re still moving, you’re doing it mechanically and staggering through your activities. Burnout steals your joy, energy, drive, and determination. Everything starts to look like one big blur of mindless activities. It can also lead to anxiety and major depressive disorder, so moms have to fight it with a break now and then [3].

“The results of the survey highlight just how demanding the role of mom can be and the non-stop barrage of tasks it consists of,” said Casey Lewis, spokesperson for Welch to Yahoo! News [4]. “Busy moms may identify with the list of ‘lifesavers’, which highlights not just a rigorous workload but a constant requirement to feed and fuel the family, week in and week out.”

The gist of the matter is that moms need some time alone to relax. Nava Silton, a Psychology professor at Marymount College Manhattan, says moms are taking more “momcations” these days to chill out before they break down [5]. A momcation is a vacation where your partner and children are nowhere in sight [6].  Silton further states that momcations can be beneficial because:

“Her spouse and children may have a better sense of how much she does and accomplishes on a daily basis. It is critical for children to see that balance modeled for them and to carry that into their own child-rearing in future years. Ultimately, this may help children garner even more respect for their mothers.” [7]

Ultimately these are different from family vacations (which are great- just in a different way), where a mom still has to be at alert because her children need to be watched and catered for. Truth be told, family vacations stress moms out almost as much as the regular days at home do (and that’s not to say that fathers can’t be stressed either) .  

“Motherhood can be very stressful—whether it’s financial stresses, time stresses, just trying to get a whole lot done in a very short period of time,” Silton said. “I think it’s really important for mothers to be rejuvenated and refreshed.”

Take some time and recuperate

What every mom needs once in a while is adequate time alone, away from her kids especially. This is usually very difficult to do, but it’s a necessary escape and you’ve just got to try. Every mom needs some time out to recoup, and this will make a significant difference in her mom life and her relationship with her partner. 

You could go spend a couple of days or even a week at anywhere from a grand hotel or an exotic beach to a cottage on a farmhouse. Anywhere your heart wants your body to go at that moment to find some peace. Recharge your batteries and stock up your super energy reserves. Allow yourself to miss your children, but don’t be in a hurry to get back to them. You’d be ruining the whole idea of the momcation.

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You could either go alone or with other moms seeking to get away from the chaos that’s their everyday lives. Go to the spa (you could spend a whole day getting re-done), go to the beach, the movies, go boating, or go drop some cool lines at karaoke. Just have some quality fun and let yourself relax. 

The one thing you should never do on a momcation is to think about your busy life back home or dread going back to it. Try to shove it to the back of your mind while you’re getting that deep body massage.

  1. Admin. 12 Stats about Working Women. Department of Labor. https://blog.dol.gov/2017/03/01/12-stats-about-working-women. Retrieved 22-08-19
  2. Admin. Average working mom clocks in 98 hours a week, study says. ABC News. https://abc7news.com/family/study-average-working-mom-works-98-hours-a-week/2269126/. Retrieved 22-08-19
  3. Wynne Parry. Stressed Moms Show Dysfunctional Parenting. Live Science. https://www.livescience.com/16415-chronic-stress-moms-parenting.html. Retrieved 22-08-19
  4. SWNS. Moms Work 98 Hours A Week, Study Finds. Yahoo! News. https://uk.news.yahoo.com/moms-98-hours-week-study-155300906.html. Retrieved 22-08-19
  5. Audrey Puente. What is a ‘momcation’? Fox 5 NY. http://www.fox5ny.com/news/what-is-a-momcation. Retrieved 22-08-19
  6. Aja Seldon. Mommy burnout: Psychologists say women need ‘momcations’. KTVU. http://www.ktvu.com/news/ktvu-local-news/psychologists-say-women-need-momcations-. Retrieved 22-08-19
  7. https://www.goodmorningamerica.com/family/story/momtroversy-moms-kid-free-vacations-57618831
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