Death is one of our greatest mysteries. We’ve always wondered what happens as life ends. This curiosity shows up in our myths, religions, and thinking since ancient times. Yet modern medicine has rarely studied what people experience while dying. Dr. Christopher Kerr has spent over twenty years researching this question. As CEO and Chief Medical Officer at Hospice and Palliative Care Buffalo, he has interviewed and filmed more than 1,500 patients in their final days.
Dr. Kerr’s work challenges how doctors typically view dying. He discovered that people near death often have meaningful psychological experiences that bring comfort. These aren’t mere hallucinations but moments patients describe as completely real. Adults and children perceive entirely different things as they approach death. As Dr. Kerr explains, “Dying is a singularly unique vantage point that inherently changes your perspectives and your perceptions.”
Vivid Journeys Near Death
Patients report experiencing remarkably clear dreams and visions. Dr. Kerr notes, “When we ask them to scale the realism of it, it’s usually 10 out of 10. They’re virtual, like they’ve been lived. What they will tell you is, ‘I don’t normally dream. This was different.’” These aren’t random thoughts but follow specific patterns. Dr. Kerr says, “Overwhelmingly, it’s about people they’ve loved and lost. Time doesn’t seem to matter. They could have lost a parent eight decades ago, but they were tangible to them.”
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Reconciliation Through Pre-Death Visions
These experiences help people process unfinished business. Dr. Kerr observes, “We seem to get put back together through these experiences. The life you led gets validated, and the fear of death seems to lessen.” One woman began holding a baby she called Danny. Her children didn’t recognize the name. Later, her sister explained that Danny was the woman’s first baby who had died. The grief was so intense she never mentioned him during her life.
Resolving Life’s Unfinished Business
Dr. Kerr explains, “Before they leave us, they’re given some kind of peace. It’s about cleaning up the business of life.” These experiences allow patients to reconcile with their past. About 16% of patients have what Dr. Kerr calls “non-comforting” visions. Surprisingly, these challenging experiences often become transformative moments leading to resolution and acceptance.
Facing Past Regrets
A man in his 40s who had spent most of his life in prison had disturbing dreams while dying from neck cancer. He saw himself being stabbed by people he had hurt. Dr. Kerr reports, “He breaks down, but then he asks to see a daughter to express his love towards and apologize. After that, he slept peacefully.” These difficult visions frequently serve as catalysts for making amends. They guide patients toward addressing lingering guilt, allowing them to find tranquility.
Healing from Trauma
A veteran who participated in the Normandy invasion as a teenager suffered from PTSD his entire life. As he approached death, he experienced terrifying nightmares filled with body parts and bloody water that prevented him from resting. Then his dreams shifted dramatically. Dr. Kerr explains, “He relived the best day of his life, which was the day he got his discharge papers.” In another dream, a soldier told him, “Now we’re going to come get you.” This addressed his feelings of having abandoned his comrades. Afterward, he rested comfortably until his passing.
Children’s Distinctive Experiences
Children perceive something completely different than adults. “Children do this entirely differently,” Dr. Kerr explains. “They may not necessarily have a concept of finality or mortality. They live in the day.” Since many haven’t experienced loss, their visions take unique forms. Younger patients often see animals instead of deceased people. Dr. Kerr notes that “children make little distinction between animal qualities they ascribe to humans and animals.” These animal companions communicate that they are cherished and supported.
Creating Comfort Through Imagination
One young girl imagined a castle surrounding her hospital bed. Dr. Kerr shares, “There was a swimming pool, the animals were returned, there was a piano, there was a window with warm light coming through.” When asked what the castle meant, she simply said, “A safe place.” Another child whose mother was a single parent visualized her mother’s deceased friend adjusting the curtains in her mother’s room. Dr. Kerr notes, “These experiences for children become very self-informing. They seem to understand intuitively that something’s happening to them, but they’re secured and they’re loved.”
Beyond Simple Medical Explanations
Despite his scientific background and PhD in neurobiology, Dr. Kerr believes these experiences transcend basic brain activity. Reducing them to neural processes misses their significance. “That whole need to make this concrete, organic, quantifiable, and measurable is insane and really misses the point, which is that there are things that we should just have reverence for,” he says. The dying process appears to involve bothphysical decline and a meaningful personal journey.
Reconnecting with What Matters
Dr. Kerr’s research indicates that our final days can reconnect us with life’s most important aspects. This process helps integrate experiences and find meaning even in hardship. Patients experiencing these phenomena demonstrate measurable growth until the end. As Dr. Kerr observes, “Basically because you’re dying doesn’t mean you’ve stopped living, and you do intense living in that latter period.”
A Fresh Perspective on Mortality
While Dr. Kerr admits he still fears death “just as much as the next guy,” his work has given him new insights. “What it leaves me wondering is, the things you think are gone, are they gone? When you see somebody who’s in their ninth decade of life and they lost a parent when they were a child, and that parent comes to them, their essence is still there for them.” For families, witnessing these experiences transforms their understanding of loss. “It redefines loss from something empty and final to something that is more life-affirming,” Dr. Kerr says. His findings suggest our final chapter may bring healing, forgiveness, and a sense of homecoming.
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