I’m never going to stop sharing the gut-wrenching, heartbreaking, soul-shattering story of our sweet Aliza Rose. Abigail Friend had a difficult pregnancy and an even tougher birth involving an emergency C-section after 19 hours of labor. “I bawled when I first saw her and heard her cry. I instantly fell head over heels in love with my perfect baby,” Abigail said. However, after only eight days of life, Aliza passed away because someone had unintentionally given her HSV-1 virus, also known as the common cold sore virus, or herpes simplex.
“I didn’t want to upset anyone…”

Doctors couldn’t pinpoint exactly when Aliza contracted the disease but they assume it happened during day one or two of her life. Only family members and a few close friends held the newborn during that time. Although Abigail and her husband, Tyler, told people not to go close to her face if they were sick, she feels like she should have been more firm. “Looking back, I definitely felt like I didn’t speak up as much as I could’ve about being strict with no kissing because I didn’t want to upset anyone, and I think a lot of new moms feel that way,” she said. “But they shouldn’t because the consequences could be fatal.”
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Neonatal Herpes

After about 36 hours of life, Aliza began to show symptoms like fatigue, loss of appetite, and low blood sugar. But after about two days, her condition worsened and her parents took her to a better hospital. The doctors didn’t take her issues seriously at first, thinking it was just her blood sugar. “I knew something was wrong when she stopped eating and didn’t want to wake up. It was clear to me that there was a problem as soon as she first started getting sick, but no one would listen and the doctors didn’t finally start taking it seriously until after I threw a fit.”
Aliza’s tiny body began to swell, and on day three, she was diagnosed with HSV-1, also called herpes simplex. As her condition worsened, Aliza needed oxygen and medication to help with the pain, although it led to seizures. “Eventually, she was on so many machines and tubes you couldn’t even tell she was a baby.”
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“She didn’t die in vain…”

Eventually, the virus took her life, leaving her family shattered. “There’s no way to ever know who gave it to her because it’s such a common virus. Part of me wants to know who it was, but at the same time, I don’t because I’d never forgive them. I’d forever have a deep hatred for them because they killed my baby.”
Abigail hopes sharing her story will save the lives of other children. She warns people to always wash their hands before touching a newborn and to never kiss them because some people are not aware they are carriers. “If one baby is saved from Aliza’s death, then she didn’t die in vain,” she said. “…There’s not a moment goes by that I don’t think about her. Aliza was chubby, happy, cheeky, and she’s in my thoughts every day.”
The Unspoken Cause of Infant Death

Unfortunately, deaths like Aliza’s are more common than people realize. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about one in six Americans ages 14 to 29 have genital herpes caused by the herpes virus strain HSV-2. And over half of American adults have contracted HSV-1, the herpes virus that causes cold sores around the mouth. Both strains can cause painful and ugly rashes in adults that go away in time. But for a new baby, the infection could be deadly.
HSV-1 and HSV-2 can put the child in danger of developing:
- Serious viruses like meningitis
- Deafness
- Blindness
- Seizures
- Recurring sores around the face and genitals
- Organ failure
Expecting Parents and Herpes

Mothers may have genital herpes without realizing it and could infect the babies during vaginal delivery. The virus can cause mild symptoms or none at all, and they could still pass on to babies by kissing their orifices or by touching the lesion and then touching the baby. Physical and emotional stress could cause a flare-up.
During pregnancy, look out for sores or blisters in the genital area and let your doctor know. It could be innocuous like an infected hair follicle, but it’s better to have it checked in case it is herpes. If a partner has genital herpes, it’s better to abstain from intimacy in the last few weeks before the due date. If a woman does have genital herpes outbreak at the time of birth, doctors may recommend a C-section. Women with a history of herpes may require antiviral medications before labor to reduce the risk of growing blisters. Also, be on the lookout for sores around the breast if the baby is breastfed. Wash your hands before feeding the baby.
Wash Your Hands!

Overall, insist that everyone who comes into contact with the child washes their hands first. If someone has an active cold sore or had one the previous week, don’t allow them to hold or kiss the baby. Try to avoid taking newborns into crowded areas until they are several months old to protect them from developing herpes and other kinds of illnesses.
Read More: Woman Asks If She Was Wrong To ‘Emergency’ Breastfeed Her Friend’s Baby
Sources
- “Can my baby catch a cold sore?” Today’s Parent. Bonnie Schiedel. March 22, 2019
- “Neonatal herpes (herpes in a baby).” NHS. March 3, 2022
- “How to protect your baby from herpes infection.” UT Southwestern Medical Center. Robyn Horsager-Boehrer, M.D. Jeffrey Kahn, M.D., Ph.D. August 22, 2017
- “A Loved One’s Herpes Killed My Healthy Newborn & I Wish I Would Have Spoken Up More.” Cafe Mom. Lauren Levy. October 26, 2023