The Beauty In You

When we meet someone for the first time, we never know how things are going to play out with them. That first week, while we’re texting, calling and getting to know each other, happy hormones in our brains would make us think everything they do is cute. Although not everyone wants a long-term relationship/life partnership, we are excited to see what the future holds with them. 

Until it begins to unfold. 

Sometimes, things pan out the way we planned, and everybody’s happy. Other times, we are not sure if we are forging ahead or sliding back to kindergarten-style love. Some relationships are just too immature and uncoordinated to make any sense of, and the problems are usually embedded at the start. We’ve probably laid the wrong foundation, started off too quickly or ignored several markers because we wanted things to work. You’d end up not being in sync with your partner and it would be more of a chore than a thrill to spend time with them.

Below are 8 key differences between a mature and an immature relationship.

Missing parts:

An immature relationship feels like an eight-part circle with one or more missing pieces. Something is always out of the picture and it will impede your progress together. Compatibility, understanding, trust, respect, actual friendship – there won’t be much growth without these attributes and the partners would eventually end up being unable to tolerate each other.

A mature relationship may not be completely perfect, but they’ve got all the attributes they need to enjoy each other’s company. Each partner knows what the other needs to remain emotionally stable, and they work together toe sure they are both happy.

Time bombs:

An immature relationship may start off looking strong and promising, but it’s sitting on a time bomb waiting to explode when the partners can’t deal with the inconsistencies anymore. Most times, they tend to grow distant and move on with their lives after long periods of dormancy.

A mature relationship may not always lead to a life partnership, but the partners are eager to talk about their problems rather than ignore each other. They’ll try to figure out what’s holding them up and possibly scale through it. If it won’t work, they part ways amicably and move on.

Moving too fast:

An immature relationship will be geared towards achieving certain societal milestones without really getting to know each other that well. Someone is already eager to move in, meet the other’s parents and vice versa, get married or have their partner change the way they live or act to suit their selfish fantasies. Moving too fast, in retrospect, is synonymous with going nowhere.

In a mature relationship, things are allowed to unfold in their timeline. There’s no rush when it comes to someone you love and want to build a future with. 

Destructive questions:

There are certain questions we’d usually conceive in our minds that shouldn’t be voiced out when we’re still getting to know someone. Sometimes, when we ask them, it’s due to our insecurities and personal conflicts. However, they often mess up the prospects of a happy relationship.

“Is she faithful?” “Does he love me?” “How long will we be together?”

A mature relationship is one where the partners know not to put any mental pressure on themselves and just be mindful signs. If a relationship isn’t meant to last long for one reason or the other, there’ll be flashing markers along the way.

Fighting from miles away:

Partners in a mature relationship never make the mistake of instigating or engaging in fights when they are not together. It’s a one-way ticket to doom to fight over text, call, or video-chat. You need to be together to hear the sound of your partner’s voice and see the look on their face to sort your issues out. We often attach the wrong tones of voice and energy to a person when we are arguing from miles away over text.

If there’s something major to sort out, wait till you are together to bring it up. You need to able to bathe your partner in kisses when things start getting out of hand, just so there’ll be a chance to go at it again.

Respect:

Love and attraction are important to any relationship, but respect is what makes the partners synchronize with each other. You cheat easier and lie better when you don’t respect your partner. Abuse is rampant today because a lot of couples don’t respect or regard each other’s feelings. You don’t hurt or verbally abuse someone you respect.

Immature relationships are usually lacking this quality and it would cause the partners to treat each other like trash. The opposite goes for mature relationships as they are often cemented solid with respect for each other. You feel less tempted to act up or behave badly toward someone you respect.

Insecurities:

Immature relationships are made weak when insecurities rise to the surface and the partners become threatened by external factors.

 “Does he still love his ex?” “Do I look good enough for her?” “Everyone thinks we are bad for each other.” Thoughts and questions like these would only cause a relationship to stand on quicksand, ready to sink anytime.

Mature relationships are strong and sturdy and the partners trust each other. One of the most important attributes of any relationship is trust, and once it’s absent, everything else crumbles over time.

Focusing on the past:

The past is baggage we carry around for lessons and not for everyday reference. Focusing on what someone did wrong in their past is simply unfair, crude, and downright immature. A mature relationship would forge ahead and stay happy irrespective of the bits and pieces of each other’s past. As long as they don’t affect who they are in the present, they are unlikely to be knocked off course in the future. 

Everyone does things they are not proud of through the journey of life, and no one deserves to have their mistakes tossed in their face all the time.

Keep Reading: If you’re truly happy in your relationship, it doesn’t have to be on social media