Women are forces of nature in their own right, and when they set their minds fully on something, they are usually forces to be reckoned with. Despite being in the 21st century, one could still consider it to be ‘a man’s world.’ Women are becoming CEOs, Presidents, scientists, leading actresses and so much more. Yet inequality is still there.
Every woman must understand that she is in charge of her own life. She’s not living to please anyone. She’s strong and unrelenting, and these qualities have to be utilized without fear or favor.
79-year-old American actress, former model, author, and animal rights activist, Ali McGraw speaks about 8 important life lessons every woman should hold onto as she carves out her own niche in the world [1]:
You can’t please everyone, so stop trying
One of the worst ideas a woman can entertain in her head is the fact people will love her more if she tries to make everyone happy. She accepts to do everything that’s asked of her no matter how exhausted or unavailable she is. It doesn’t necessarily make people love you more. It just means you are giving them the mantle of power to walk all over you and superimpose their needs and wishes over your own. You will rarely have any time for yourself, and a candle cannot light another if it isn’t lit.
You have to learn to say ‘no’ sometimes. To family, friends, co-workers, and anyone who demands too much from you, politely decline when you can’t do something. If they’re not happy about it, that’s their stress, not yours. Use your time effectively. Your needs have to come first. Actually, there’s nothing wrong with considering other people. You just shouldn’t make it a do-or-die affair.
If you’re aging, do it with grace.
Every woman is beautiful, and it’s a good idea to walk through life with the mentality that your beauty appreciates as you age [2]. A lot of women are easily convinced that they lose their beauty and allure as they get older. This is one idea I’ll never accept to be true. Older women, to me, are just as beautiful.
Be proud of your gray hair, your age lines, and laugh lines. Fall in love with your not-so-smooth skin and everything else about your body. It’s as perfect as the younger version of it was, or even more so.
Don’t expect to be recognized
If you’re doing a good job, always celebrate and appreciate yourself. Don’t wait for anyone to walk up to you and express their gratitude. Be proud of yourself and keep doing what you’re doing. Sometimes, even the people closest to you will not appreciate you for your kindness toward them. Don’t think on it for a second, and most importantly, don’t stop being kind. Learn to appreciate yourself and be proud of your efforts.
However, if your partner is unsupportive and your kids are ungrateful, call them out on their shortcomings. They are your family, and they have to know what that means.
Always evaluate your goals
This allows you to set things in a clear perspective and keep yourself on the right track [3]. Once in a while, take time out to put everything on hold and meditate on how far you’ve come and how much farther you want to go. Teach yourself to be better at what you’re currently doing. If your life has been lacking, then it’s time to weed out certain things and cultivate new habits. Always check your schedules and see if there are things you can do without. Fill in those spaces with relaxation, meditation, reflection, and growth.
Share your life experiences
Experience is life’s best educator. There’s so much a woman has to learn, enjoy, and endure as she goes through life. Pass down your stories to younger women in your family and anywhere around you. Men too can be let in on the things that concern them. Share your stores on social media platforms, talk about life and love while you ladies are cooking in the kitchen, or share an enlightening experience with everyone, even that stranger on the bus.
Staying healthy shouldn’t be an uninviting chore
Some women make it look as though staying fit is the most difficult thing in the world. Actually, your health is something you should enjoy tending to. The mind, body, and soul are all linked together. Taking care of one and ignoring the other is not a smart thing to do. Take care of your physical, spiritual, and mental health. Don’t fuss over your weight every day and hate on yourself when you eat an ice cream cone. Get active and do something. Sign up at the gym, follow a healthy and natural diet plan, drink a lot of water, keep your environment clean, and get some sleep. Try to cut down on stress, worrying, and learn to laugh more.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Ali McGraw once said in an interview, “Perfect…I don’t think it exists. It’s a peculiar obsession. Being a decent human being, interacting and connecting with other people — really, really connecting — is more important than anything.”
Nobody’s perfect. There’s a difference between looking up to someone and drawing motivation from them and comparing yourself to someone only to be dissatisfied with your own efforts. You are unique in your right. While you’re comparing your life to someone else’s, they are wishing they could run away from it. Don’t judge anyone based on pictures and hearsay. Don’t even care enough to make a judgment. Be yourself and do your own thing. Enjoy your experiences and learn from them. Be you and do you. The world will adjust.
Live life to the fullest
Life’s too short to be sitting around miserable. Youth is fleeting. Enjoy it while it lasts. Build yourself. Go on a wild shopping spree once in a while. Take vacations. Chase your dreams. Stay healthy. Love with all your heart, and most importantly, be kind. Kindness heals the world.