man refuses to give up seat to pregnant women
Julie Hambleton
Julie Hambleton
December 31, 2023 ·  5 min read

Man Says He Refuses To Give Up His Seat For Pregnant Women Because Of Long Working Hours

One night while returning home from work, a young man refuses to give up his seat to a pregnant woman on the bus. He posted his story on the popular Reddit forum Am I the Asshole to get the internet’s opinion. (1)

Young Man Refuses to Give Up His Seat on the Bus for a Pregnant Lady

When he got home, the man told his family his experience on the bus with the pregnant lady. His actions enraged his parents and sister, so he posted his story on Reddit to see whether or not the internet agrees.

After totaling his car, he had to take the bus to and from work while waiting for the insurance month.

He explains how he works 10-hour shifts in a job that requires him to be on his feet all day long. Not to mention, he then has to walk another 15 to 20 minutes after he gets off the bus. With a tired body and very sore feet, he relishes the time he has on the bus to sit and rest.

Read: Working at home in your PJs is the key to happiness

The Pregnant Lady Gets On The Bus

One night, a “heavily pregnant” woman gets on during his commute. With COVID rules, there are fewer seats available, and he was the closest option for her.

“I’m the closest to her, so she starts giving me the imploring eyes.” he wrote. “I had my headphones on and tried to pretend I couldn’t see her, but once she started talking to me it became inevitable.”

He calmly told her no and explained his situation. The woman cried while explaining that she is a single mother. That’s when things get ugly.

“I told her I’m sorry, but that was her personal choice and she can’t expect other people to accommodate her life choices.” he continues. “We live in a state where birth control and abortions are free, so I don’t know why this should be my problem. It’s not my fault she decided to have a baby when she can’t afford a car.”

An Elderly Passenger Gets Involved

After several minutes of the two of them going back and forth, an elderly man yelled at him, calling him a “worthless punk” and then got up to offer her seat. The bus made a sudden stop while they were switching spots, causing both of them to fall.

The pair yelled at him more and called him very nasty names. He pretended to ignore them until he could get off at his stop.

Read: Not so random acts: Science finds that being kind pays off

The Internet’s Opinion on the Man Who Refuses to Give Up His Seat

Most Reddit users agreed that he was in the wrong by refusing to give up his seat. Many brought up the point that while, yes, he may be tired after 10-hours on his feet, pregnant women are more susceptible to injuring themselves and their child if they fall.

“Did you know that being heavily pregnant really alters your balance, let alone the tired thing?
No – you didn’t ask her to be pregnant, but you can, as an able-bodied otherwise healthy person just
choose to be nice. By being a selfish grumpy bugger a heavily pregnant person and an old person fell over. Bringing up the contraception/abortion/’breeding’ angle too really makes you an ass.
I bet you’re a real ‘nice guy’.”

He might not be “wrong” but…

Many were quick to point out that him saying no didn’t necessarily make him wrong, and that there were surely other people who could’ve given up their seats. It was what he said afterward to her that was rude, insensitive, and just plain wrong.

“Public transit sucks. I assume there WERE other people who could have offered a seat but didn’t. Diffusion of responsibility does that, and once she “picked” this guy, it let everyone else feel morally superior because they totally /would have/ done it if she’d asked them but she didn’t.
But his attitude is so horrible that he’s the AH. I think her immediately jumping to being a pregnant single mom is weird (part of the reason I don’t believe this story), but him going off about BC and free abortions (what state is that???) and her bad decisions are what sealed it for me.”

He doesn’t know her situation, just like she doesn’t know his

Many pointed out that he doesn’t know her full situation as well. Perhaps her car was in the shop, just like his. His comments regarding abortion caused the most anger among commenters. They pointed out that him taking his job which “sucks but the pay is good so I deal” is also a personal choice. Why does this choice qualify him to have a seat and not hers?

“The whole giving up seats for the pregnant and the elderly thing isn’t because they’re pregnant/elderly, it’s because these particular groups are more likely to fall and suffer serious injuries when they do.
OP, being tired sucks, but being tired and sore doesn’t make you more vulnerable to bad falls, being pregnant does. That’s why you’re supposed to give up your seat. YTA and a massive one at that (because of the rant).”

Though some users said that they didn’t think him not wanting to give up his seat made him a bad person, his comments afterward certainly did.

Hopefully, this young man will learn from this experience and not refuse to give up his seat in the future. What are your thoughts?

Keep Reading: Six-Year-Old Girl Forced To Return Her Lunch and “Shame-Walk” To The Back Of The Line Over A Lack Of $2.25 In Her Lunch Account