Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. is living with some form of mental illness. For these people, just getting out of bed can be the hardest thing to do. Then comes the basic tasks like brushing your teeth and changing your clothes to look presentable to the outside world…all the while, you are fighting the urge to crawl back into bed.
If you’re living with a mental illness, you’re already aware of how exhausting it is to complete even the most mundane tasks. This perpetual state of exhaustion can be confusing to friends and family who don’t truly understand what it’s like living with a mental illness.
Enlightening Post About Mental Illness Goes Viral
PJ Palits, a 22-year art director, and mental health advocate shared an enlightening thread on her Twitter feed describing why people with mental illness often say they’re tired. The post, which was to raise awareness about living with mental illness, immediately went viral.
PJ kicks it off by explaining the response she gives when people ask her why she looks tired…
Not many people ask me if I’m OK, but when they do my answer is always the same “I’m fine, just tired” — and people seem to accept that reply.
For me, “I’m tired” is not a complaint or pessimistic. It’s merely a fact of life.— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
“Drained…”
Allow me to explain why a person who is constantly battling their own brain and societal expectations may feel so drained.
These are ppl whose brains are stuck in overdrive and have a great amount of difficulty unwinding to fall asleep at night.— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
For the “average” person, it takes seven minutes to fall asleep.
Imagine crawling into bed exhausted and it takes the average of an hour to fall asleep, instead of seven minutes. Every nap and bathroom break and the brain relaxation delay begins again.— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
People with mental illness can’t sleep because their mind won’t shut off…
These are people whose sleep is frequently disturbed and who spend their nights tossing and turning instead of resting. Sometimes they’re awoken by noises, pain, an inability to keep body parts still, by loud noises inside of their heads, vivid dreams and many other reasons.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
These are people who wake up feeling, at best, slightly more rested than they were when they crawled into bed in the first place — like a battery that has been damaged that never seems to recharge properly.
These are people who for decades don’t feel rested after their slumber.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Brain drain…
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
These are people who put an immense amount of effort into focusing on the task they’re supposed to do or perform, while their minds are trying to carry them down other paths or while they are struggling to remember just what those tasks are.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
These are are people with working memory issues who — from school age on into adulthood — lack the skill to remember multi-step instructions in a world where they’re just expected to know how to do it.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
People with mental illness struggle to like/love themselves…
These are ppl who are in a constant war w/their own brain, ppl who are battling their own thoughts & fears; hearing every day from their brains they arent good enough,strong enough,skinny enough,that ppl dont like them or that they should hav done better just to list a few things
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
These are people who are in a constant war with other people’s judgment and lack of understanding.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Mental Illness Stigma…
Who are often asked questions or who hear comments like, “Why are you always tired?” “Just suck it up deal with it,” “It’s just a lack of discipline,” “It’s all in your head,” “Stop being so pessimistic” and “Stop being so lazy.”
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Awareness itself is great, but to become overly conscious of your settings, all your little movements, and behaviors can be debilitating…
These are ppl who experience sensory overload that mentally exhausts them. From the clothing they are expected to wear, the food they are expected to eat, the noise around them, the sights engulfing them & the odors surrounding them, these ppl’s senses are constantly under attack
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
These are people who are exhausted from self-advocating to people who don’t understand and don’t care to understand.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Sensory Overload…
These are people who spend most of every day dealing with fears that others sometimes find silly and irrational.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
It’s like living on a rope bridge swaying in the wind over a canyon while you’re afraid of heights, and hearing, “I don’t understand what you’re complaining about, the bridge is secure. Suck it up and deal with it. I can do it, so you can too.”
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Talking to people when you have a mental illness can be difficult. You may feel you lack the social skills needed to connect with people…
These are ppl who are struggling to communicate their experiences bcoz communication is a skill that needs to be taught and exercised.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
It’s like those who don’t have a strong artistic talent being instructed to create a sculpture using the items around you to present how they currently feel within the next five minutes.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
These are people who expel a large amount of energy trying to understand body language and emotions. It would be like showing you a picture of my cat and expecting you to identify what he’s feeling based on his facial expression and pose within minutes, multiple times a day
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Coping with bothersome side-effects…
These are people who are tired from the side-effects of medication, or self-medicating to cope with the symptoms of their diagnosis and the expectations of society.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Everyday war with your brain…
These are ppl who are struggling w/their brains to differentiate whats real and whats not, bcoz their brains present everything to them as reality.
These are ppl who hav physical manifestations from their mental struggles bcoz being on high alert takes a physical toll on a person— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Body in Dis-Ease…
These are people whose muscles ache constantly or whose muscles are tired from being tense too often, who get frequent headaches or migraines, whose appetite is affected and whose immune system becomes impaired… just to name a few things.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Reach out…
When someone tells you they’re tired, sometimes you need to look beyond their answer. Are they tired? Are they physically tired and need some sleep? Or do they in fact need you.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Do they need somebody to look them in the eyes and tell them they’re not fine but that you’re there for them? Do they need someone to realize they’re not OK and to offer them a hug? Because I know when I say I’m tired, that’s what I need.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
See Beyond…
So please, the next time someone with an invisible disability says that they’re tired, please don’t treat them as if they’re lazy or irrational.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Instead, imagine living your life on a rope bridge over a canyon, or imagine how you would feel if someone jabbed you and woke you up several times a night for just one year, and the physical and mental impact it would have on you.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
I beg of you, on behalf of all of us fighting our own silent battles, please be patient and empathetic. Just because you don’t experience it doesn’t mean that it’s not a reality for someone else.
— ραℓιτѕ (@PJ_Palits) January 20, 2018
Take Away
Mental illness affects so many of us, even people who you’d least expect are battling with some form of mental illness. It truly is a debilitating and undetectable disease. However, the stigma surrounding mental illness is slowly starting to dissolve. Though we still have miles to go, posts like PJ’s help us understand a little more about what other people (including ourselves) are going through – and most importantly, they remind us that we are not alone.