Sarah Biren
Sarah Biren
December 23, 2023 ·  3 min read

The Problem with Husbands Who Don’t Do Anything Unless Their Wives Nag

She shook this table really hard…

Gender equality is a venture that women aren’t backing down from anytime soon. In an explicit Facebook post, Australian celebrity blogger and mom of four, Constance Hall called out husbands who have to wait to be asked before they help with chores [1]. A woman doesn’t have to nag so much before her man will notice dirty dishes and load up the dishwasher. According to her, the home belongs to both of them, and they have to make it together by contributing equally to domestic responsibilities.

Constance doesn’t sugarcoat her words for anyone, not even her hubby.

Women all over the world usually complain about how unfair it is for the men to be so nonchalant about these things. It’s more annoying difficult when the husband and wife are both working people. When kids start coming, no woman wants to be saddled with the crazy stress of juggling work, baby care, household chores, and still having to nag, talk, and yell before she’ll get any help.

Recently, while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing ‘preach Queen’, someone said to me ‘if you want help you need to be specific… ask for it. People need lists, they aren’t mind readers,’” Constance wrote.

She decided to try the ‘quit expecting too much and be tolerant’ line of action.

“So I tried that, asking… specifics,” she explained. ‘Can you take the bin out?’ ‘Can you get up with the kids? I’m just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years.’ ‘Can you go to woolies? I’ve done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids’ school books, dealt with the floating sh*t in the pond.’ And yeah, she was right… sh*t got done.”

Last time she checked, she’s not a reminder app

Solving that problem gave rise to another one. If she doesn’t ask or nag, then nothing gets done by him. It’s frustrating having to keep up with mentioning everything. She just wants him to do things when he sees that they need to be done.

“And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not your job to ask for help, it’s not my job to write f**king lists…” She wrote. “We have enough g*d d*m jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous workload is not one of them. Just do it.”

Constance describes it as a ‘relationship cancer’ to allow one spouse to do the bulk of the work at home. It makes them cranky all the time, and something as ‘minor’ as this can lead to major problems. It often does, actually. Bigger problems take their roots from smaller ones such as these.

It’s important that each partner recognizes the fact that the home is not owned by one person. Equal efforts must come from both partners if tensions are to remain stable in the home so that one person doesn’t start feeling cheated [2].

“Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day? Is one of you carrying the weight? It’s not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That’s your job. Just do the dishes without being asked once in a while…”

Husbands, y’all dig?